As part of the Masters degree that I am doing in Video Game Enterprises and Production is the option of doing a solo project under the remit of ‘game’ or ‘interactive entertainment’. It’s either that or do a work placement in a company or continue working on a PS4 project with the rest of the class.
And on the train back from London after attending BAFTA Guru Live, I realized that this is the best time for me to do my own game. It’ll be like being indie, but without all the financial obligations, since I’m still within the safety bounds of school. Also I’ll be able to get support from my lecturers. Also I’ll be given a quite strict deadline.
I am a deadline oriented person, so I need deadlines to get anything done (which is why I do game jams, as insane as those deadlines are).
I guess I was inspired by the people who talked about “Their First Game”, and how they took a leap from their stable jobs and just gone indie.
I also did a short work placement at Media Molecule in Guildford, and while I was there I was able to talk to the people there. Hearing them talk about their game like it’s their baby and the impact that their game had on people, was just so heartwarming. When they first started out, they took a leap too.
I have always been afraid to take a leap. So during game conferences, when I was talking to people, I used say that I’m an indie with a day job, while now I just say that I’m a student.
One of the people I talked to at MM, described me as a game maker. I like making games in the vein of the Maker movement. I am a programmer by trade, but I enjoy all aspects of making the game.
I think of “making games” like a medium, in a way that writers write. It is a way of expression. It is a way of making people feel things. And I think in that way, games are quite powerful. But of course, in the same way that there are different genres of books and movies, there are also different genres of games.
When I sit down and really think about the games that I like making, I think it can be summarized using this:
These are all quite short game jam games made in 48-72 hours.
So I want to create something longer, something deeper. Something that convey a message or a story, something that has an unique art style.
So what game am I making this time?
I wish I can make something as moving as “Dear Esther” and “That Dragon Cancer”, and as beautiful and unique like “Sailor’s Dream” and “Lumino City”, and as quirky and charming as “Machinarium”, “Botanicula” and everything else Amanita Design comes up with.
I want to explore narrative and evoking emotions using games as a medium.
So what story do I want to tell?
This month is Mental Health Awareness month. A lot of people who suffer from depression don’t talk about it or don’t seek help, because of different reasons.
I’m personally one of those people. I wake up every morning and put a smile on my face before I go out, even though most of the time I feel like…
A wave crashing into rocks… Or drowning… With no way of swimming back to the shore…
I want to be able to talk about it. I need to be able to talk about it. And I’d like other people to know that they can talk about it too. And that it’s okay to not to be okay. And it’s okay to seek help.
Okay, this post just took a dark turn. Which is where the ‘nay?’ bit of the title comes from. It will like be presenting, rather exposing a part of myself out there. And that’s always scary.
Why am I doing this then?
I think, I think it’s because I need to.